Greetings!
I've thought for a long time that I should start a blog that I can use to reflect on my own teaching, learning. With that comes thoughts about life too, right? I've used a blog (very limited use, mind you,) with my students for a couple of years. I felt like it was a great way for families to check in and see what we were doing at school.
I've loved being a blog stalker, twitter lurker... you name it! I learn so much from my peers across the country and around the world. I figure it's time for me to start sharing - even if I'm not sure many of my thoughts and ideas are new and novel - they matter.
I've been watching "my" Kinder Chat people as they reflect on important ideas and topics this summer. Wow! I'm always inspired and challenged by what these folks are brave enough to put out there. The most recent one word prompt given was "CHANGE." And all I can think about is... yup... that's the one for me.
I've been through lots of professional changes in the last few years. New administrators, new teaching partners, wonderful friends moving on or retiring, new curriculum. You know - you've all faced them too! And I feel like I roll with the changes well. (Except if I want to paint my kitchen. In that case, I must put at least 16 paint samples on the wall and watch them for almost a year before I will commit to the change. Yep. Paint commitment-phobe.) The one thing that hasn't changed in the last 10 years has been my love and passion for all things kindergarten! And that's where my change begins.
Backtracking a bit, at the end of the 2011 - 2012 school year, I told my principal that in the back of my mind, I was starting to think about second grade - but that I certainly wasn't ready to leave kindergarten yet! Fast forwarding to May of 2013, my dear friend and mentor announced that she was retiring from second grade, and then it was announced that my building was adding an additional second grade classroom. That's two second grade jobs at once. My principal came to me and asked me - prior to the job being available -if I was interested. I said no. Moving to second meant moving to a "temporary - circa 1972" annex, a smaller classroom, and leaving my happy little world of kindergarten. I knew I still had a lot of love for kindergarten, and the last time I left kindergarten I knew it was time for a change. I wasn't there.
However, once the idea was out there, I started thinking of pros and cons. And I hashed out every scenario with my friends and family. And the biggest deal breaker to me was still the isolation of the annex.
When the job officially opened up, my principal again asked, and I again said no. And almost immediately, I started feeling anxious. Had I made the right choice? I had until noon to make a decision, and at 11:55 am I was in my principal's office telling her I wasn't sure. She had to let HR know by the end of the school day, so she told me to think on it a little bit. Which I did. And the next time I saw her, she said "What do you think?" My reply - shoulders shrugging was "I guess I'm moving." And immediately I was crying! (Not a crying kind of girl here... so that was unexpected.)
I couldn't figure out what I was sad about. I chose the move, and actually had some excitement about it. All I could think about was that I was leaving kindergarten. My baby. My passion. My relationships with families. My chance to be the first welcoming face in a school for so many young people. I was feeling foolish and angry at myself for my reaction until a friend reminded me that it was okay to mourn this big change. So I did. For the rest of the night. And you know what? I woke up the next day thinking about the possibilities. I will still have those relationships, and I will still get to be the welcoming face. I will get to learn so many new things! I will get to share another year with some of the families I've come to love so much. Oh man... it's endless!! And... I get to do it all, in a tiny little classroom that I will make home together with my students! I get to work with new teaching partner. And now all I can think of is man... this change is good! I can't wait to get it going!
Here's to change... the long term... the short term... the thoughtful and the impulsive!
Jen
